Bitches be crazy

Bitches be crazy

I know it, these guys know it and I think most other girls probably know it too.

Anytime a guy says to me ‘Spadge, you’re like one of the guys’ I take the compliment. I might be well-known for my misandry; often complaining about the way men* treat women, or ranting about why some things they do seem pointless to me. But I genuinely feel flattered when I am compared to one.

I went to an all-girls school where I soon learned how conniving girls can be. They would spread rumours out of boredom, or shout ‘nice hair!’ across the room which can be translated into: ‘your hair is particularly terrible today because hair-straighteners haven’t been invented yet and you slept on it funny’. From a relatively early age we learn not to always trust what another girl says.

It doesn’t help that girls often tend to over-think things too, which makes us more likely to mis-read innocent gestures. For example, if a friend accidentally walked straight past me in the school corridor, I assumed they hate me and would go and ask another friend about it. This would get back to the girl who ignored me and then she would say that I’d been bitching about her, and now we were in a mess. A guy would have just punched the other guy in the arm and told him to stop being so ignorant. Problem solved.

I think that men are generally more honest, logical and no offense, but; simple. I know the guys at work love – cough – hearing about my girl drama. It must sound like I live in Hollyoaks most of the time and none of them understand why we (girls) make life so difficult for ourselves, or why we enjoy each other’s misery so much. They ask ‘why are you so bothered?’ or ‘yeah, you’re being a girl about it’, and they often have a point.

Sometimes I know that I am acting crazy, so then why can’t I control it?

Yesterday a slightly eccentric friend posted a link to this news article via his Twitter. This article talks about an experiment that analysed the different gesturing strategies used by a group of female chimpanzees at Chester Zoo.

I felt particularly satisfied to read this sentence: ‘While females in the group adopted a different gesture strategy depending on the sex of a partner, the males did not.’ The researchers found that female chimpanzees acted more aggressively towards each other and apologised less to each other too, basically solidifying my ridiculous behaviour.

But how fascinating is that?! Even in nature, without exposure to advertising and without having access to hair-straighteners; female chimpanzees still feel ‘social pressures’ depending on the gender of their company.

It made me feel a little better to know that whatever makes us a little bit crazy, is more a part of our nature than our intention. Thank you, science.

 

* some men, which often leads to unforgiving slander towards the entire gender