10 perfectly acceptable things for a girl to do when suffering from man-flu…
Go absolutely everywhere in Ugg boots; your legs are achy, bending down to change your footwear leads to a drippy nose and they are literally hugging your feet. Big pants are also allowed.
Forget about the manicure; you WILL have to blow your nose with wet nails. Tissue transfers to your nails, varnish to your face and snot everywhere in between.
Increase the lip-balm area; a chapped nose is more predominant than lips yet close enough to subtly include in the balming process.
Ice cream any time of day. Low blood sugar and sore throat instantly defeated, all before 10am.
Swear more than usual. The lid on that tin of spaghetti was being a dick and it shows proactivity to educate it, loudly and in front of the neighbours.
Cry at cartoons, nobody would argue that it must be hard to be a talking square sponge in this struggling society. Plus your mascara is already dominating most of your face.
Burn the dinner. Your nose is blocked, rendering it completely useless as an estimatory gauge. You must rely on hearing screams, seeing smoke or feeling the heat of that massive open-flame, but these cues take much longer to notice.
Whiskey on a weeknight. You slept until midday, you have bits of tissue stuck to your face and you look (and sound) like a croaky old man, sipping a tumbler of whiskey can only enhance your sophistication at this point.
Inflict sleepless suffering unto others. Whether you are stomping downstairs for more Lemsip or purposefully turning over every 5 minutes to alternate which nostril is the most blocked-up, making others miserable during the night makes it far less lonely.
Stay strong. Despite their best intentions, do not let others antagonize you or amplify your already-weakened physical state: