That music don’t speak to me

That music don’t speak to me

At 27 years of age, there aren’t many things that make me feel old. I mean, sometimes when I put my Harry Potter jumper on, I make a mental note to change it again before leaving the house, but mostly the only thing that makes me feel old is popular music.

It’s loud, it’s repetitive and it’s unnecessarily sweary, like my grandma. Even using the term ‘popular music’ makes me feel ancient. Like using the word ‘youths’ or ‘whipper snappers’.

Since working in an office full of whipper snappers (the youngest being 9 years younger than me) I’ve noticed that I’m not really ‘down’ with today’s pop-culture messages. Have you ever listened to Jay-Z lyrics?! He’s doing what to what in Paris?! I am also loving The 1975 recently, which surprised me because trying to work out what he’s saying is like finding a deep meaning in a Ke$ha song, but ‘running from police’ and ‘taking my clothes off in the back of his van’ isn’t something I can really relate to (I get shin splints and it’s cold outside).

I was actually watching reruns of Live at The Apollo at the weekend and the comedy genius that is Tom Stade just so happened to deliver the following message about music:

Absolutely amazing, isn’t he? It’s so true, maybe that’s why we slowly start to tune out of new music when we get a bit older? We stop being able to relate to the passion of the lyricist?

I quite like bands who sing about feeling a bit old and knackered, Alkaline Trio talk about bedtime ‘accidents’ (OAPs much?) while Deaf Havana sing about ‘ageing bones’ and he’s definitely younger than me.

My mum asked me what Florence’s machine was yesterday and I felt a strange sense of ‘you’re damn right that’s a stupid band name, that’s why it’s hard to remember’, and then tried to explain that Florence is like a ginger Kate Bush who has a soft-spot for slum-dogs.

I can’t help but feel drawn to the music of my (younger) youth, whether it’s cheesy 90’s, dad-rock or emo-angsty-droney-stuff from my college days, music just has this magical way of transporting you back to the first place you heard it. How does it do that?! No matter where I am, whenever I hear ‘put your hands up for Detroit’ I have visions of my uni friends throwing VK Blue around me in the Engine Shed. They love this city. And I miss those days.

Remember ‘screamo music’ like Alexisonfire and Bullet For My Valentine? Nobody screams well anymore (at least I don’t listen to anyone who does?) now I lean towards to ‘whispher-o’ for less of a headache, you know – Bon Iver, City & Colour and Ben Howard (the original album, the second one is more like ‘whine-o’). When the cool kid in the office (hi Tom) is like ‘Hey Spadge, what music are you into?’ I have to drag my brain out of the past decade and panic-rant anything that I had to Google recently. Occasionally I will hear something that I like on BBC Radio 6 Music but it’s been almost a year since the dog claimed my radio in his den, taking Shaun Keaveny with it. Sad face (spelling it is the new Emoji, the kids actually say this kind of thing out loud). I love Shaun and his beautiful metaphors, more-so than the modern music he plays. Plus, even when I like bands on Radio 6 like M83 and Everything Everything, they soon move over to Radio 1 and get overplayed. What’s the point in trying to stay ahead?

Basically, if anybody wants to start a band and make music about real life situations, like what Tom Stade was singing about – then I’m all in. I can’t really play any instruments (other than the flute) or write music, but I’ll sure as hell help with the lyrics. Florence, if you’re reading… I am fully available for lyrical assistance, I love the one about building a ship to wreck (speaks to my emo days). And I’m pretty sure I’ve since converted my mother into a Florence fan.

Peace out.

Ps. If you enjoyed Tom Slade then this joke about Fat Africans (and ignorant Americans) is one that never fails to make me laugh out loud (LOL, kids) –