Oh my goodness, such an apt title. I feel like my heart broke at least 5 times when reading this beautiful book. And I’d do it all over again!
My heart broke for the families of Northern Ireland in the 80s, for the innocent child with an evil mother and pushover father, for the irreplaceable loss of loved ones, for the dreams that suddenly get flushed down the drain and for the longing of a love you so desperately need but never quite feel deserving of.
The story of Mary is one that majorly shifts your perspectives, a reminder of how quickly your entire life can change. You sit through Mary’s pain, desperate to fight on her behalf and you can’t help but sympathise with her sometimes terrible decisions, it’s very hard to argue that you would be able to do anything differently given the circumstances.
Reading this book kind of felt like breakthrough therapy for me. I genuinely laughed, I genuinely cried and I’ll be genuinely surprised if another book affects me so deeply this year.
I wanted to be the one he was paying attention to, just once. Sometimes it felt as if the fabric of the sofa had grown over me and no one had noticed.
Before my Actual Heart Breaks is out on February 18th, 2021. Thank you to Random House UK for the arc.